1) First Determine If You Are a Workaholic

Any kind of “aholic” works to fill an inner-need by filling it up with something else, and the first step is admitting you have a problem. If you are truly a workaholic you’re probably putting aside your friends and potential mates in favor of work. Or, have you simply fallen into a pattern of working long hours? Did you wind up with a demanding boss and equally demanding clients and can’t find enough hours in the day to satisfy them? Or are you working towards a promotion, and once you get it you’ll be able to slow down? Or maybe you just like being busy. Once you determine the root of the issue you can work to correct it. If you feel like your boss doesn’t understand maybe you’ll have to get a new job. Or maybe you just need to learn to say “no” once in a while.

2) It’s All About Priorities

I’ve heard it said that when someone tells you they are too busy to call, they are really telling you they don’t have a priority to call you. As harsh as that may seem, it rings true as we get older and our lives become busier. Maybe you really don’t need to work the hours you do, but you find it a good excuse to put off potential dates. If you don’t want to meet a particular date, do you use work as your standby excuse? Do you find that you really do have time to do certain things and not others? Sure, work emergencies come up, but you need to realize that you are in control of your life. Not your boss.

3) Make Sure Your Attention Is On Your Date When You’re With Them

Even if you have a demanding job, you’re going to have to learn to balance your work and home life. And if you don’t get this concept down, you won’t have a home life to balance. So when you are with your date, pay attention. Listen. Acknowledge things they say and respond to them. Use the time you are with them to truly get to know them, instead of thinking of what you have to do back at work. Turn off that super-busy switch in your head and relax so they can get to know the real you. When you are at the office, take time during the day to email them and let them know you are thinking of them. Call them. In short, communicate. Yes, it will take effort on your part but all relationships do. And it’s worth it.

4) Take Some Tips From Your Married Cohorts

If you’re single you’ve probably noticed that sometimes married folks have a better deal when it comes to business emergencies. If a project required working late, my married coworkers would have real, honest-to-goodness obligations – picking up their kids from daycare, have to put dinner on, etc. Inevitably I would have to work late while I watched them leave on time each day. Was it fair? The married folks would probably say yes, but consider this – is your life less important? It can be hard to tell employers no when you don’t have to pick up kids from childcare but just really need to get home and do wash. But don’t be afraid to say no. You don’t need to give an explanation, you can simply say, “I’m not available.” Your time is just as valuable as the next person’s.

5) Start Developing Your Life Outside of Work

If the majority of your friends are at work, you need to get out. (This goes double if the majority of your ex’s are people you’ve met at the office.) Spend some time engaging in your hobbies (or finding some, if you’ve really been cooped up at the office.) Hanging out with non-work folks will broaden your horizons and help you to converse about things other than work. Don’t you hate it when someone drones on and on about their job and can’t talk about anything else? You might even meet someone cute and fun that you’ll end up dating.